I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
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