you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Can I color on your dick again?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
