do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
