i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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