What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Randomize
