let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
