So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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