There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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