So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
