i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
