It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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