tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
