This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
