I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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