i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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