So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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