I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
did you just send me my own nude
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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