The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
