I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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