I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
