Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
