He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
