My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
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