What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
