2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I need moral support for this bender
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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