why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize