my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
