I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
