Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Well I just put wine in my tea
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
