He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
