i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
