you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
