Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
