Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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