dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
