that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
