Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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