I want to stick my p in your. b.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
