He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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