I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
