remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
