the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
