I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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