Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
so explain again why im purple
no
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
