I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
