I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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