so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
