I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
