HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
