My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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