This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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