it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize