The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
