The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I have already put on my inside pants.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
