I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
These tits shall not be calmed
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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