I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I just googled if crying burns calories
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
