I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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