you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
