i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
