I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
