Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Be still, my beating vagina.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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