he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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