...so i touched it.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
