In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
