did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
